Giant Steps

This is why I didn't go home for my sister's funeral.
I was in love.

Darlene was talking about going to Minnesota to see old friends.

"In January?" I said, "You'll freeze your ass off."

"It's not so bad," Darlene said, "I lived there for a while, remember?"

"Yeah," I said, "But you hate the cold."

"So?" Darlene said.

"Why don't we go to Mexico?" I said, just like that.



We were at a company party. Some kind of company party held after work in the parking lot outside the factory. All of us sitting on palates and crates and a couple of picnic tables outside the factory building that Darlene worked in. All of us eating chips and chopped cold vegetables and sour cream dip and drinking beer from a keg they brought in for the party. Darlene and I both were on our second beers.

I'd been back at work for a week, but I hadn't gone near the cardboard crusher. Was looking for a different job in the company.

I'd never been to Mexico.

"You think we should go to Mexico?" Darlene said. Darlene took a sip from her beer. When she put the cup down, she had foam on her upper lip.

"Uh," I said. "Sure, why not? You have foam on your lip."

"Thanks," Darlene said. She licked the foam off, underside of her tongue looking pink and unfinished.

"Have you been to Mexico?" Darlene said.

"No," I said, "Have you?"

"No," Darlene said, but it kind of stuttered out because her mouth was all twisted up smiling and she ducked her head down and put the heel of her hand up to her mouth, so it came out a kind of laughing No-o-o-o.

"What are you laughing at?" I said. I drank some of my beer.

"You," Darlene said.

"Why" I said, "What's so funny."

"Your face," Darlene said, "You're all red. You didn't even think before you asked me to go to Mexico, did you?"

"Well," I said. But I couldn't think of what to say then. Took another sip of beer.

"Well, no." Darlene said, "You didn't. And now you've asked me, and what if I say 'Yes, let's go to Mexico?’"

"Then we'll go." I said.

"What are you guys up to?" Merri said. Merri sat down next to Darlene at the picnic table with a paper plate full of chips and chopped cold vegetables and sour cream dip in one hand and a full plastic cup of beer in the other.

Sitting down next to Darlene was a big production for Merri. Merri was a big woman with short legs. Merri wore tight jeans all the time and she had to lift one leg up like a giant step over the bench that was attached to the picnic table and then straddle the bench while she got her balance back and then she had to lift the other leg up giant step over the bench, leaning with one elbow on the table. The elbow on the table was on the same arm as the hand holding the plate and Merri was squeezing that plate so hard with her thumb that it dented down there, the plate did, and the sour cream dip was running onto Merri's thumb. I guess Merri didn't think to put down the paper plate and the beer first, so there was a kind of exciting time there when we weren't sure just how much beer or chips or chopped cold vegetables or sour cream dip was going to stay on the plate and in the cup or if some of each were going to switch places or vacate entirely. In the end though, Merri got her plate and her cup down on the table and her butt down on the bench without any major relocations. When Merri finished sitting down she let out a big relieved sigh and I could smell some serious beer on her breath.

Darlene had been leaning way over to the side. She sat back up straight when Merri finished sitting down, and Darlene readjusted her butt on the bench, a little more toward the end. Darlene took a sip from her beer.

"Want some chips?" Merri said.

"No, thanks." I said.

"Thanks," Darlene said. Darlene picked up a big rippled potato chip and scooped up a bunch of sour cream dip. She put it in her mouth and licked her fingers while she chewed.

"How's your leg?" Merri said.

"Fine," I said, "Still sore sometimes. The bruise is almost gone."

"What do you call a gal with one leg shorter than the other?" Darlene said.

I knew the answer, but I didn't say anything.

"What?" Merri said.

"Ilene." Darlene said, "Get it?"

Merri laughed a little and put a piece of broccoli in her mouth. Merri looked at me and winked with the eye Darlene couldn't see.

"What do you call a Chinese girl with one leg shorter than the other?"

"What," Merri said, not looking at Darlene. Merri looking at me winking with the eye Dar couldn't see.

"Irene" Darlene said. Darlene slapped her leg. "I just thought that was so funny."

"Still looking for another position?" Merri said.

"Yeah," I said. "But it's slow going."

"We've tried missionary," Darlene said, "And doggie."

"Richard doesn't want to give you up," Merri said, "I don't blame him, I wouldn't either. You're good."

"I'll say he's good," Darlene said.

"Yeah, but," I said. "I can't do that shit anymore. I gotta find a drafting job."

"You do drafting?" Merri said.

"He does everything," Darlene said.

"Yeah, for eight years." I said. I wished Darlene would just be quiet for a minute.

"Are you going to get some more beer?" I said to Darlene. She looked in her cup. It was almost empty.

"Could you get me some, too?" I said, "Please?"

"Sure, bunny." Darlene took my cup and got up, leaning on the table while she took the giant steps over the bench. Merri and I watched her walk over to the keg, walking like Darlene does with that sort of side to side shoulder motion just a little like a windup walking duck.

"How are you guys doing?" Merri said. She turned back to look at me.

"Fine," I said, "I think we're going to Mexico."

"You think?" Merri said. "Where in Mexico?"

"We're still talking about it," I said, "I don't know where, I've never been there."

"Try Cabo," Merri said, "They've got a new water treatment plant, and a new airport."

"Where is it?" I said.

"At the tip of Baja," Merri said. "It's cool, you'll like it. Not too touristy like Puerto Vallerta is now."

Darlene came back with the beers right in the middle of Merri saying that. Darlene had filled up the plastic cups to the brim with beer and was walking really slow, taking baby steps, holding the cups out in front of her and leaning forward and keeping her eyes on the cups. Darlene's fingers were wet and dripping and the foam on the tops of the cups was jiggling like foam does, looking higher than the rim in one spot and lower in another and then switching high and low spots and you think it's just gonna jump right out of the cup, but it doesn't. Darlene put the cups down on the table and flicked her wrists out behind her to shake the beer off. Then she wiped her hands on the back of her jeans. Standing there holding her teeth clenched and her lips stretched back and her eyes wide, shoulders stiff and swaying just a little, arms behind her, shaking fingers.
"I did it!" Darlene said in that voice she can do that's kind of like a little quiet scream. I can't do that voice, but Darlene does it really good.

I picked up my beer and it spilled a little on the table. Puddles of beer rolling on the dry wood and running down in the cracks of the picnic table.

"Why'd you fill it up so much." I said.

"Um," Darlene said, "I don't know. I guess I just didn't want to make so many trips. What about Puerto Vallerta?"

"I was just saying that it's really a tourist trap, now," Merri said. "And that you should go to Cabo."

"So," Darlene said, "Does this mean we're going?"

Darlene leaned on the table with her palms and took giant steps over the bench.

"I guess," I said, "Why not?"

"Cool," Darlene said. "When?"

Darlene was holding the plastic cup with both hands where it sat on the table. Darlene put her mouth down to the plastic cup and sucked some beer out of it without lifting the cup off the table. I took a sip of mine.

"Well, I don't know," I said, "Is it hard to arrange?"

"I've got a friend," Merri said, "She can put it all together, plane and a hotel. You want an expensive motel?"

I looked at Darlene. Darlene looked at me back in my eyes. Darlene lifted her shoulders up around her ears, popped her eyes out and scrunched her mouth up. That was Darlene shrugging. Doing that with her shoulders made her neck bunch up under her chin in two folds.

"Do we need an expensive motel?" I said.

"All we're gonna do is sleep there," Darlene said. "Well, maybe that's not all we're gonna do there."

"As long as it's not grungy," I said.

"I'll get you her number," Merri said. "Tell her I sent you, she'll give you a good deal."

"Wouldn’t want grungy," Darlene said.